Honoring Loved Ones During the Holidays: Gentle Ways to Remember and Heal
The holiday season is often described as a time of joy, celebration, and togetherness. For many people, it is marked by familiar traditions, shared meals, and moments of connection. For those who are grieving, however, the holidays can feel profoundly different.
Empty chairs feel louder. Memories feel closer. Traditions that once brought comfort may now stir sadness or longing. Grief has a way of showing up more intensely during this season, not because something is wrong, but because love remains deeply present.
At Center for the Heart, we recognize that grief does not pause for the holidays. Instead, it often rises to the surface, asking to be acknowledged, honored, and held with care.
As Holly Strelzik, founder of Center for the Heart, often reminds families,
“Grief is not something to rush through or resolve. It is an expression of love. When we create space to honor it, we allow healing to unfold naturally.”
Why the Holidays Can Intensify Grief
The holidays tend to amplify emotions for those who are grieving. According to the American Psychological Association, a significant number of individuals experiencing loss report increased feelings of sadness, isolation, and emotional overwhelm during the holiday season.
Several factors contribute to this heightened experience:
Disrupted traditions
Holiday rituals can feel painful when a loved one is no longer present. Familiar routines may highlight what has changed.
Social expectations
The pressure to appear joyful or participate in celebrations can feel exhausting and isolating for someone navigating grief.
Increased memories
Sights, sounds, and smells associated with the holidays often bring vivid memories of past moments shared with loved ones.
Loneliness
Even when surrounded by others, grief can create a sense of separation that feels difficult to articulate.
These responses are not signs of weakness. They are normal, human reactions to loss.
The Importance of Remembrance
Remembrance is not about dwelling in sadness. It is about allowing love to remain visible in a way that feels supportive rather than overwhelming.
Meaningful rituals can:
Provide grounding during emotionally charged moments
Create continuity between past and present
Offer comfort and structure when emotions feel unpredictable
Allow grief and gratitude to coexist
At Center for the Heart, we encourage families to approach remembrance gently, without pressure to do it a certain way.
Gentle Rituals for Honoring Loved Ones
There is no single right way to remember someone you love. The most meaningful rituals are often the simplest ones. Below are a few practices that many individuals and families find comforting during the holidays.
Lighting a Remembrance Candle
Choose a candle to light during a quiet moment. You may say your loved one’s name aloud, reflect silently, or share a memory with those around you. This small act can serve as a grounding ritual throughout the season.
Creating a Memory Space
Designate a small area in your home with photos, meaningful objects, or written notes. This space can become a place of reflection and connection when emotions surface.
Writing a Letter
Writing to a loved one can be a powerful way to express thoughts and feelings that remain unspoken. Letters may include gratitude, memories, or reflections on how their presence continues to shape your life.
Sharing Stories
Inviting trusted people to share stories about your loved one can bring warmth and connection. Laughter and tears often emerge together, both are welcome expressions of love.
Honoring Through Acts of Kindness
Some families find meaning in volunteering, donating, or offering acts of service in honor of someone they love. These gestures allow love to continue flowing outward.
Supporting Someone Who Is Grieving
If someone you care about is grieving this holiday season, your presence matters more than having the right words.
Holly shares,
“One of the most powerful things we can say is simply, ‘I am here with you.’ Listening without trying to fix anything creates safety and trust.”
Ways to offer support include:
Asking open ended questions such as, “What feels hardest right now?”
Offering specific help like preparing a meal or running an errand
Respecting boundaries if someone needs quiet or space
Checking in after the holidays, when support often fades
You Do Not Have to Grieve Alone
Grief can feel isolating, especially during a season centered on togetherness. At Center for the Heart, we believe access to thoughtful, compassionate resources can make a meaningful difference.
Sometimes support begins with learning, reflection, and seeing your experience mirrored in the words of others. Books, memoirs, and guided resources can offer comfort, understanding, and a sense of companionship when grief feels heavy or hard to name.
Our Reading Room was created to support individuals and families navigating loss by offering carefully curated grief related resources that honor the many ways grief is experienced.
Explore Our Grief Reading Room
If you are seeking gentle guidance, validation, or simply a place to begin, we invite you to explore our Grief Reading Room. It features recommended books, memoirs, and resources designed to support reflection, understanding, and healing at your own pace.
